DEAR ABBY: A most embarrassing thing happened to me at my chiropractor's office. I see him before going to the gym, and I change into my gym clothes in the waiting area restroom. It's easier for my doctor to treat me when I'm not in my office attire.
After completing my workout, I realized my bra hadn't made it into my gym bag and must still be on the doctor's restroom floor. I'm embarrassed for two reasons: He is single and handsome and I don't want him to think I'm trying to send him a "signal” of some kind, and it was my favorite bra!
What can I do?
"Debbie” in Dallas
DEAR "DEBBIE”: Your bra may be gone, but I'm here to support you. Please stop feeling embarrassed. It's entirely possible that your chiropractor never saw the bra. Call the person who schedules your doctor's appointments, explain what happened and ask if the item was turned in. If it was, collect it when you go in for your next appointment or ask that it be sent to you.
DEAR ABBY: I reconnected with "Andy,” a former high school classmate, and we started a relationship. Because of his actions last year, the relationship ended. It started again several months ago. It's on the right track now.
Andy is a great guy who fulfills almost everything I am looking for. He accepts me for who I am and doesn't judge me. He's polite and cares about me.
My problem: I'm not physically attracted to him. If he's "almost” everything I'm looking for, why am I not attracted to him? Am I blowing it with the one guy I'm supposed to be with, or is there someone else for me?
Confused
in Connecticut
DEAR CONFUSED: I wish you had mentioned what caused your breakup last year. If the reason you're not physically attracted to Andy is something he can change, you should talk to him about it. If it's nothing you can put your finger on, then talk with a counselor to see if the problem could be a fear of commitment on your part. But if it is neither, then face it: You need to let him find someone who is attracted to him. To marry someone feeling as you do would be dishonest and cheat you both out of a full and happy union.
DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing a guy, "Bill,” who I believe is my soul mate. We have discussed our future and decided that after college, we will have four kids. We love each other, and we're trying to wait until we're married to have sex. I talked to my parents about it, and Mom offered to put me on the pill.
I don't see any reason not to make love, other than I always thought I'd wait until my honeymoon. Bill isn't pressuring me, either. I'm afraid that if we do, it will complicate our relationship. I guess now I'm looking for reasons not to, because I don't have any. Is it wrong for me to want this?
In Love in Washington
DEAR IN LOVE: I don't think so. You're an idealistic young woman who would like to give her husband a gift on her wedding night that can be given only once. It takes self-control, discipline and determination to accomplish that, particularly with the emphasis on sex in popular culture. If you wait to have sex until you are married, you never will regret it. If you don't, you might. Hang in there until you're sure you're ready or you've said "I do.”
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